Imagine laying naked in bed,and you are not alone. Someone else is with you, and is just as naked. Better yet, it isn't just one other, but hundreds of others with you. Getting pretty hot in here, but brace yourself their is more. They will always be there with you. You leave knowing they are there, and naked, and waiting for you. I can think of no better way to introduce to you the Cimex lectularius. Cimex lectularius also known as the 'bed bug" is more common than we hope to think. Imagine this guy in your bed:
Picture thanks to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
I completely agree with your thinking; this is not the prettiest of bed mates. Nonetheless plenty of households have them so it is best to know a little bit about them. As you can see these guys are reddish brown but when born are translucent. They grow to be about 4-5 mm when they reach adulthood. However their ability to fully mature is dependent on their diet, which in this case happens to be humans. Specifically human blood, because these bugs are actually hematophagous (blood suckers.) "Bed Bugs" are in a way teenie tiny vampires. They pierce the skin of its prey (humans) with its rostrum which is made up of the maxillae and mandibles. The image to the right shows the highlighted rostrum. The entire maxillae and mandibular bundle penetrates the skin and blood is sucked up through a straw like food canal. The whole process takes about 5-10 minutes for the bug to become full. Then it will leave the human and head back to YOUR bed. If you don't already you should really feel used.
If hundreds of these guys weren't enough, they too reproduce like any other living animal. Though their sex life is a little too intense for my liking. The male bed bug has a hypodermic penis and will stab the female in the abdomen when it is ready to mate. The fertilized eggs are produced and will hatch little immature translucent bed bug babies. These little nymphs will go through five stages of life, each lasting about a week, and will shed its exoskeleton at each stage. It can take as little as two months for these guys to fully develop depending on food and temperature. That means these "newborns" will be making babies of their own a very short amount of time. So we need to do what we can to rid our beds and our homes of these insects.
SOME SIMPLE SOLUTIONS:
-Prevention:
+keep out wild animals
+keep indoor/outdoor house pet well groomed
+treat old furniture before bringing it into the house
+be sure clothes are free of insects before entering the home
-Management:
+for a two hour period keep the temperature at less than 17 degrees Celsius
+vacuum any insects found
+wrapping mattresses in some type of impermeable material
+pesticides (not very effective)
*A combination of different above methods will decrease the amount of bed bugs*
-Predators:
+Masked Hunter Insect
+Cockroach
+Ants
+Spiders
+Mites
+Centipedes
*It is really your decision if these bugs are better found in your home rather than the bed bug*
I know what you're thinking, "Jacob, how could you make this title so provocative? I know the other puns were a bit risque, but this is another level." Well cool it, because it is still a successful innuendo. Especially when you hear about the rather interesting animals below. These aquatic animals may have a bad rep if you stereotype them only by name however, they are rather docile, elegant, and in my opinion beautiful creatures. I'm speaking of three species of shark. These three are:
The Mega-mouth Shark (Megachasma pelagios)
The Whale Shark (Rhincodon typus)
The Basking Shark (Cetorhinus maximus)
After looking at them, you may recognize these species of shark. They have huge mouths and vestigial teeth, which basically means they are there for show and are utterly useless when it comes to digestion. "Jake, that's great and all, but what does this all have to do with spit or swallow?" Well these three sharks have evolved and adapted a new technique for feeding. Filter feeding is their method of eating and that is because these large creatures have evolved to eat some of the smallest living organisms such as, krill or even plankton. This is just a portion of the small varied diet these sharks consume. They have also been known to feed on:
macro-algae
Christmas Island red crab larvae
small nektonic life (small squids, or vertebrates)
small fish
clouds of eggs and sperm during mass spawning of fish shoals
The three sharks all are know to obtain its food through a process known as ram filtration. This is common method that whales have evolved as well. It involves the predator, in this case the sharks, opening their mouth and swimming into the prey listed above. The food (prey) and water passes through the mouth. The food is "swallowed" whole and the water is "spit" out. Now you see the innuendo. I know, I know, it is incredibly clever, but their is more to learn. The mega-mouth and whale sharks also are able to suction pump volumes of water containing prey into their mouth. Both methods work essentially the same way in that the filter in the shark's mouth captures the food and disperses the water back into the ocean.
Whale Shark
These species of sharks are pretty amazing, but by far my favorite is the whale shark. It is definitely the most exotic looking with colorful dots throughout its backside. It is even considered a deity in Vietnamese culture; named "Ca Ong", which translates to "Sir Fish." Not such a bad title for a fish. Another reason to love this shark over the other two would be it's habitat. If you ever decided to stop by for a visit with your friend Sir Fish then you would find yourself in a tropical region of the ocean, right around the equator. The basking sharks are found in colder climates at both ends of the poles and as for the mega-mouth, well these guys are fairly rare. They however, are known to swim deep in the ocean; recorded at depths of 200 meters. So its safe to say where you will find me when I'm out looking for some filter feeding sharks, you know just on a weekend getaway, nothing fancy.
Do you ever just think about the dirty deeds that go on in the wild? That crazy animal sex that happens deep in nature? Yeah me neither, but it is something we are going to explore nonetheless. Animals do not have it easy as us when it comes to finding a mate. What I mean is that it can be difficult for two like species to find each other due to the limited amount of them. Some have it tough for the opposite reason with too many of a certain species leading to competition among males for a female. Every organism has adapted to obtaining a mate in their own way through courtships, some being completely outrageous and exotic. This is still not the end of it, however. It is only half the battle actually. These different animals aren't just looking for a mate, but in fact a reproduction partner. Thats right ladies and gentlemen they just was to find themselves a lover to produce offspring with. This process can be quite the ordeal for some species, and it can be just as interesting as the courtship ritual to find a mate.
The Birds of Paradise
Images thanks to NatGeo
Arctic Hooded Seal
A courtship is all about finding your mating partner. The love and affection can be there, but you're really doing whatever you can to impress or "woo" her into the sack. What animals out there are doing this you may ask? Well truthfully, all of them. Everyone is trying to produce offspring because really thats the point to life, biologically speaking. The animal able to attract a mate is seen as the most fit. Thus the expression "survival of the fittest." Common courtships out there are the males proving themselves to the females through strength and dominance usually over other males. Gorillas, rams, and deer are just a few of the many species who will fight, sometimes to the death, over a possible female mate. Although, this is not always a possibility for some species. The energy exerted is not always worth it so other methods have been evolved by different animals around the world. Take for instance the Arctic Hooded Seal. This guy is huge people, and can simply not waste the energy to fight, unless absolutely necessary. They have evolved the ability to inflate an appendage over their nose, which basically looks like a giant pink balloon. As manly as possible, they wave this pink balloon in the air in an attempt to scare away the enemy and hopefully attract a female. In a warmer climate on the other side of the world you will find the birds of paradise. Located in Papau New Guinea, with a few in Eastern Australia, these species of birds are the most exotic I could find. The male's feathers are bright, beautiful and arranged in spectacular ways in order to attract their mate. Some have even come up with different dance moves used to seduce the female of the species. Birds, in my opinion, are the most creative when it comes to attracting a mate. The video below is of the Red-Capped Manakin and the dance moves he uses to find a lady friend.
Video Thanks to BBC ONE
Now to the sex in nature that you all were waiting to hear about. I am sure the anticipation has been killing you. You need this release as do many of the species below. These are some of the most bizarre animal sexual behaviour I could find. I leave humans out only because the our sexual behaviour gets a little too outrageous. So without further ado, these are 10 of craziest species when it comes to sex.
Earwig: Lucky enough to have two penises. Or is he? They are extremely fragile and will fall off on occasion.
Bonobo: Species of monkey known to have sex for pleasure not just for mating (dolphins have been accused of this act of pleasure as well.)
Black Widow: Will sometimes kill the male mate after sex, thus the name.
Red-Sided Garter Snake: Has been having orgies in the outdoors, but at a ratio of 100 males to every 1 female.
Preying Mantis: Rips the head off the male during sex which causes more sperm to be produced, giving greater odds of fertilization.
White-Fronted Parrot: Actually pukes in their mates mouth. Talk about one up-ing the "french kiss."
Giraffe: This one isn't so much about sex as it is about finding a mate. The male will nudge a female when it finds one to induce urination. It gets stranger. He then proceeds to drink the urine, which if he likes it will then continue with the courtship.Snails: These guys or gals are actually hermaphrodites. Having both organs they will throw "love darts", made up of calcium, at each other for a better chance at fertilizing one another.
Brown Antechinus: Mousey little creatures that do it like rabbits. During their mating season they will get dirty with a mate for up to 12 hours before finishing and then just moving onto another one right afterwards. Sadly they die soon after the mating season, but happier than ever I'm sure.
Banana Slug: Last but certainly not least, the most extreme of them all; I believe the men out there can attest to this. These slugs can grow to be about 8 inches in length with a penis just as long as his body. Impressive I know. However, if he can not find a female able to deal with the whole thing she will take matters into her own hands...or mouth. The female may find it necessary to chew it down to an acceptable length. WTF?!?!?!
Brown Antechinus
Banana Slug
Earwig
Images thanks to Virgin Meida
There you have it folks. Some of the weirdest sex maniacs out there. Now get out there and tell your friends, hell even tell your family. This is a great conversation starter and an even better dinner topic. Lets people know how knowledgeable you really are about the world around you. Even the dirty secrets of the animal kingdom need to be revealed.
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